While on a routine patrol just outside of the city of Riverwood, a guard from the province of Skyrim was the victim of a gruesome attack, having an arrow lodged in his head by an unknown assailant.
When the victim, Albert Strongstone, was rushed to the local alchemist, it was discovered the alchemist has run out of their healing inventory but recommends that Strongstone eats a few loaves of bread and the arrow should “despawn in one or two days.”
While Strongstone was able to make a near-full recovery, there appears to be lingering brain damage, as he believes his injury doesn’t exist. He’s convinced that what he experienced was just a mere gust of wind.
Strongstone has no clue that his injury is as severe as it is, causing some of his friends to become concerned about his well being.
“I saw him over by the fire pit at first. Something must have startled him because the next thing I know, he jolted up, drew his sword and wandered down a path as if he was searching for something,” said Jarif Rosenred, a friend of the bandit. “I heard him say ‘must have just been the wind’ before calming down. Something about it was off because it wasn’t that windy, but I didn’t immediately think much of it. Once he came back into the light of the fire, I was horrified. He just brushed the thing off like it was nothing, the stubborn bastard.”
Strongstone has since been living his life as if nothing has changed. He continues to join his friends in hunting, bribery and general guard debauchery.
“I’ll tell you; this is the way to live. Being a guard is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he said while viciously bleeding from his wounds. “I have job security, a stable income and the perks are unbelievable.”
When asked about the arrow incident, Strongstone was quick to dismiss it.
“I still have no idea why everyone is losing their minds over this. I got a little gust of wind on my face and everyone is just jumping out of their skin,” Strongstone said.
Unfortunately for Strongstone, his unfortunate incident has reached the upper brass of the Whiterun guard and steps are being taken to move Strongstone to the cavalry unit. There, he will begin specializing in horse fecal care.
Not much is know about the assailant other than word of mouth rumors and gossip, and anyone that does know them isn’t willing to give them in.
“Khajiit has information if you have coin,” said one witness of the incident.
The assailant has been described as mute, armed with a literal arsenal of weapons and extremely dangerous. They hold leadership titles in the local chapter of the Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves Guild, as well as being the Headmaster at the College of Winterhold and a Thane to every Jarl in the province of Skyrim. Those who have seen them were not entirely helpful.
A random bystander with a bottle of Skooma in his hand recalled his experience with the culprit. “I saw him once! He took down a dragon all by himself; then he sucked the soul out of it! Not in a gross way though, so I should probably phrase that better … Hey, you wanna see what the inside of a mammoth’s forearm looks like?”
If you encounter this dangerous individual, do not pursue them because they will kill you. If they do kill you, they’ll be able to avoid justice one way or another because that’s just how being a protagonist works.
Featured photo from Skyrim, by Bethesda, Illustration by Dan Salazar
This story is a modified version written by the same author as the original article, which can be found here, courtesy of The Leader.
Travis is a graduate of SUNY Fredonia with a BA in journalism. He has had a passion for gaming ever since he played Pokémon Red Version and Donkey Kong 64. Some of his all-time favorite titles include Halo Reach, Spec Ops: The Line and Fallout: New Vegas. In his free time, Travis enjoys making a hot mess of himself and making situations awkward. Finger guns and puns are his specialties.